all i've ever wanted was someone to stop me from thinking so much.

i was standing in line at the student store
just trying to buy some ice cream and gtfo
when the skinny, thin hair, oversized tits cashier looks at me two people deep in her line and says
"hola"
it was strange because i knew she was looking dead at me but i still wasn't sure if she was talking to me
because why was she talking to me?
its not even my turn
she was literally checking someone else out
and saying "hola" to me
the chick holding the ice cream behind other people
i just kinda looked behind me and then smiled back at her
like...okay, cool. hola.
then i scoot up to check out and she starts telling me how much she loves my hair
then my smile, then my teeth
she asks me if im a yankee, or italian. two questions i've been asked way too often
im starting to question my own identity/actual parents
at this point im also realizing that the "hola" she gave me earlier may not have been just her trying to be hip, but her actually thinking that i was Hispanic.
anyway, i literally bought one thing, but she kept talking long enough to ask me my major and tell me her son was gay.
i'm surprised the ice cream didn't melt before she finished
but then i ate the ice cream in the library and laughed at danny talking about blind people until i cried.

i can't believe you have me crying AGAIN.

i just googled "missy elliot fat".
....
goodnight

I FEEL WEIRD.

i wanted a cat until i realized those things live for like 17 years
screw that
i'm lonely but i'm not THAT lonely
he'd be cool for the first 2 years then what?
i have to take him around with me while i figure my life plans out?
now i know why there are so many cats abandoned it parking lots
shits cool for a little while, but i dont want it when im 34.
i bet this is how people feel about kids
the idea is so cute and exciting
having an adorable companion that needs you
til someone tells you it's yours for the rest of your life
i'm sorry, what?
that is too serious.

today i wrestled the shoes off a screaming and kicking 3rd grader
then listened to him yell and beat on the door my body was up against for an hour
i left work, and went to my boss's retirement party
sat awkwardly across from my 7th grade teacher without speaking for 30minutes
hugged my boss, ran through the pouring rain to my car
drove to babysit my adorable little cousin
went to bekah's and we cleaned and vacuumed out her jeep intensely
then took my sweaty disgusting self to rock-ola and ate for free
where bekah and i LITERALLY had money thrown across the table at us
and we kept it
high five.


http://allyapple.tumblr.com/
just in case.